


Dying Ain't So Bad

by DesertLily



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bonnie and Clyde Fusion, Angst, Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Violence, crime spree, this does not have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: Rather than helping Johnny and Ponyboy go into hiding, Dally takes the blame for Bob’s death and heads out on the run from the law. Refusing to be left behind, Johnny stays right by his side. Neither regret their decision. Not really.
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Dying Ain't So Bad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dyingpoet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyingpoet/gifts).



> 'Dyin' ain't so bad  
> Not if we both go together  
> Only when one's left behind  
> Does it get sad  
> But a short and lovin' life...  
> A short and lovin' life...  
> A short and lovin' life, that ain't so bad'
> 
> \- Dying Ain't So Bad, Bonnie & Clyde

  
Johnny’s heart felt like it was going a mile a minute. Nothing felt real. He didn;t feel real. He’d killed someone. He had actually killed someone. He had killed a soc - the same soc who had beaten him black and blue a few months prior. But it was justified, right? He would have killed Ponyboy. No one could blame him for intervening! It was necessary! The cops would see it that way! They  _ had _ to see it that way.

He felt numb all the way down to the very core of his being. Everything felt like a blur. Was he in shock? He was probably in shock. The next thing Johnny was truly aware of was that he was standing in Dallas’s room at Buck’s with a half-drowned Ponyboy next to him. If someone asked him, there was no way in hell he could explain how he got there or even whose idea it had been! Maybe it was just instinct to run to Dally when he was in trouble at this point. It always felt like the right thing to do. Johnny felt safe with Dally; like nothing bad could happen if they were together. Not really. Not anymore. “...What do we do?” He found himself whispering, barely able to bring himself to speak above a whisper. 

Almost instantly, Dallas had turned his attention to him. “You? You do nothing. I’m dropping you two off at Ponyboy’s place safe and sound.” He took a deep breath as if the situation had placed the weight of the world upon his shoulder. “Then I’m taking Buck’s car and I’m booking it. Anyone asks either of you what happened, it was all me. Got it? You didn’t do a thing, Johnnycakes. I’m the one who killed the soc.” That didn’t even remotely sit well with Johnny. 

“No.” He found himself speaking before he could think better of it. “Dally, that ain’t right!” There was no way he could keep the distress out of his voice. The night had been the worst of his life so far - it overwhelmed everything else by miles. But to add losing Dallas on top of it? It was unbearable. Johnny would rather turn himself in right that second that risk losing Dally. There was no way in hell he could ever let him take the blame for this. “You...You can’t do that! You can’t leave me behind!” 

At the same time, Ponyboy was quick to chip in. Everything about the kid seemed far smaller than usual. Dally’s jacket seemed to drown him and his shivering left him looking more than a little vulnerable. He looked just as scared as Johnny felt. “What’ll you do, Dallas? If they think you killed him, they won’t just let you go!” 

“I know.” Resignation flooded Dally’s voice. “But better me than you two, alright?” He rubbed at his eyes, thinking carefully. “Go out to the car. Please. Buck doesn’t know I still have the keys. I’ll drop you off and then figure this mess out.” 

Ponyboy glanced at Johnny who only offered a shrug in return. No one said a word as the trio headed out to the car. There wasn’t anything to be said. Not really. All there was was the knowledge that soc was dead and the blood that tainted Johnny’s hands. The car journey to the Curtis house was just as silent with none of the three willing to speak. Whilst Ponyboy was quick to rush out once they reached it, Johnny found himself loitering in the car. He couldn’t bring himself to move. “I’m staying with you. I...I caused this and I ain’t letting you do this alone, Dally. I can’t. Not when it’s you.” 

A laugh of almost disbelief left Dally at that. “You really are something else sometimes. You know that?” His voice seemed to waver slightly. “I’m doing this to protect you, alright? You...You don’t know what they do to kids like you in prison, Johnny. I can’t put you through that.” 

“I’ll be fine as long as we’re together.” He took a deep breath. “Nothing bad can happen to me as long as I’m with you. I-I’m dead here without you anyways, Dallas. Wherever you plan on going to deal with this, we go together.” 

“Don’t you get it, Johnnycakes? I’m not going anywhere. Not really. Just going to drive as far away from here as I can; take the attention away from all of you.” Dallas slumped back in the driver’s seat. “Whatever happens ain’t going to be pleasant, alright? This don’t have a happy ending.” When Johnny looked undeterred, he sighed. “If you really got to come with me, then we do this on my terms. You...you don’t leave my sight. You stay where I know you’re safe.” 

“Okay.” Johnny’s response was almost instant. He could suppress the events of the night when he was with Dallas. He could breathe. “Just don’t leave me behind. Don’t think I could handle that.” 

A tired smile crossed his face at that. “I’d never leave you behind.” Dallas cast a brief glance to Ponyboy who was still hovering halfway to the house. Then he started the car and sped off in that reckless way that seemed to make Dally thrive. “Try to get some rest. God knows you need it after tonight. I’ll get us as far away from here as I can by morning; give us a head start.” Johnny couldn’t bring himself to argue. Instead, he just let his eyes close and let the bliss of sleep wash over him. 

Come morning, the realisation of what he had done washed over Johnny like a bucket of ice water when he woke up. The fact he was very much in a moving car only confirmed the fact it was real. A whimper slipped from his lips at that. He had killed someone. He had actually taken someone’s life. “Hey, kid. You awake?” Johnny’s head snapped up to meet the very confirmed eyes of Dallas. “You slept like the dead.” At the way Johnny flinched, Dallas sighed. “Bad choice of words, sorry.” He moved to pass something to Johnny; a pack of sandwiches. “It ain’t much and they probably taste like shit but I grabbed them when I stopped for gas.” 

“How much money did you bring with you, Dal? You don’t need to waste it on stuff like this.” Despite his words, Johnny all but ripped into the pack of sandwiches; devouring them as if he had never eaten before in his life. They weren’t great; cheap ham and processed cheese but it was better than nothing at all. A lot better. 

Dallas shrugged almost nonchalantly at that. “DIdn’t bring a lot with us. But this got us enough to keep us going for a while. Even made the cashier generous enough to give us some supplies to last us for a while.” He held up a gun proudly at that as if it were some grand prize to behold. At the way Johnny’s face paled, he was quick to clarify. “Don’t worry. I didn’t kill no one. Just scared the living daylights of them. I ain’t dumb enough to draw that sort of attention to us.” He hummed. “But you should have been there, Johnnycakes! The fucking thrill of it! It was like nothing else!” 

A frown etched itself onto Johnny’s face. “You robbed a gas station. That’s hardly something to be bragging about…” But the look of euphoria on Dallas’s face was enough for doubt to fill his voice. How good could threatening people feel really? But then Johnny thought of all the times he felt helpless. He thought of all the times his parents had made him feel like dirt. He thought about the socs that had beaten him to a pulp. Then he began to understand that want for power over people; that desperation to be in control. “That soc from last night, Dal...He was one of the ones that thrashed me real good. Had the same rings and anything. “

“Then you don’t have anything to feel guilty about. He almost killed you  _ and _ he almost killed Pony. Far as I’m concerned, the world's better off without him. You just saved another poor kid being put through anything.” He moved a hand to ruffle Johnny’s hair. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re a hero.” 

Johnny snorted. “Me? A hero? You sure you didn’t hit your head or something when you robbed that place?” In all honesty, he was barely keeping the guilt at bay. He was barely keeping himself together. Being near Dallas helped. Something about him always gave Johnny the illusion that he was safe. Dallas wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. He was always the first to defend him. That brought a small sense of relief to him. “Hey, Dal? How far are we from Tulsa?” 

He shrugged. “Not sure, but I’ve been driving all night long so we got some distance at least. No one’s tried to stop us or pull us over yet. Should probably dump the car soon, though and try to find a different one. Just to keep them off our backs.” 

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we? Just running until we can’t run no more.” 

“That’s the plan. Might not be the best plan but it’s the only one we got.” Dallas glanced over at him again. His gaze constantly seemed to switch from watching the road to watching Johnny. “We ain’t made the papers yet but we got a radio report. The pigs named me ‘highly dangerous’ and you as my ‘unwilling accomplice’. “ The smirk on Dally’s face was one of mild amusement. At least someone was getting a sense of humour out of the situation. 

“I think I was anything but unwilling. I...I killed a man and now you’re the one paying for it!” Johnny’s voice cracked at that. The tears he had been determined to hold back were slowly making their way to his eyes. 

“It was self-defence, Johnny. That hardly counts as willing.” There was a sense of sincerity in his voice that brought him at least a little sense of comfort. A comfortable silence filled the car at that; an absolute juxtaposition from the night before. After a while, Dally finally spoke up again. “We could always give them something real to hunt us down for, you know?” 

That threw Johnny off a little. “What do you mean? Ain’t what we already done bad enough?” He almost pleaded. 

Dallas was quick to shake his head. “What you did was survival. What I did was...questionable. But if we’re really going to be taken in, don’t you want it to be for something memorable? Don’t you want it to be for something real? Jesus, Johnnycakes! The thrill of robbing that store...I ain’t ever felt anything like it.” 

“Just no more killing. W-We’re not murderers.” 

“Of course not. Just a few robberies; something to get our faces in the paper for what we deserve. Nothing else.” He assured him softly. “Give something real for the pigs to hunt us down for. The new Bonnie and Clyde!” 

Johnny decided not to mention how Bonnie and Clyde were lovers, or how they had the help of the Barrow gang. “The new Bonnie and Clyde.” He echoed, unable to stop himself from smiling. They weren’t weak. Both of them had stood their ground until the end. Both had gone through hell and survived. That was what Johnny dreamed of. He dreamed of being strong enough to survive. He dreamed of being self-sufficient. Maybe that wasn’t possible but whilst Bonnie had her Clyde to watch out for her, Johnny had his Dallas. That thought brought a smile to his lips.  _ His Dallas _ . He liked the sound of it. Not that he could ever say it outloud. No, Dallas would drop him in a heartbeat if he did. 

Just like Dallas had said, they dumped the car at the next town they went through. Johnny felt like he should have been more concerned by how easily Dally hotwired a new car for them but he felt oddly...excited. All thoughts of the soc he killed had left his mind and instead...Instead, he thought of the future for once. He thought of  _ his _ future. Maybe it was full of chaos but when he was with Dallas? Johnny was indestructible. 

That was how he felt all through the start of it; indestructible. Johnny found himself standing by Dally’s side through thick and thin; watching out for him every time they robbed somewhere. Though, as their jobs got bigger and bigger, Johnny began to feel uneasy. Especially on the day Dally gave him a gun. “...Dal, what the hell do you want me to do with this? I-I can’t kill no one! Not again…” 

“It ain’t for killing, Johnnycakes. I promise you.” Dallas made sure to look him in the eyes. “Just for protection. We keep making the front page - all the way above the fold! People see our faces nearly every day. People are gonna try to hurt you and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.” He moved to pull him into a hug that Johnny practically melted in to. “‘Sides, I thought you wanted to get involved more in all this?” 

“I-I guess so.” 

Regardless of how many times he had watched Dally rob gas station after gas station, shop after shop, and even that one bank job they’d been on, he still felt uneasy as he walked into the gas station. He made sure to scout the place carefully with Dallas following behind him. Johnny’s arms were kept straight and hanging low with his gun clutched tightly in his hands. He took a deep breath as he approached the counter. 

Apart from them, the gas station was empty bar the cashier. The cashier was a teenager with his head stuck in a magazine, barely paying attention to the shop around him. Johnny took a deep breath before throwing a bag at him. Then he moved to point his gun at the cashier’s eye level. “You’re gonna put all the money in the register into the bag. You’re going to let me and my friend here take whatever we want and leave. Try and run or press some sort of panic button, I pull the fucking trigger.” It felt like an out of body experience; it didn’t feel as if he was the one doing this. He didn’t feel like  _ he _ was the one robbing a gas station. 

The robbery went off without a hitch. The money was stuffed into the bag and the two grabbed as many supplies as they could from inside before heading out to the car. Adrenaline pumped through Johnny’s veins like an air pump connected to a bike tire. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was what being high felt like. “That, Johnnycakes, was perfect! Absolutely perfect!” In the heat of the moment, Dallas pressed a kiss to his cheek and Johnny pretended he didn’t adore it. “I don’t think it could have gone better!” 

Johnny rode that adrenaline high for as long as he could. Things felt great. Dally and him took turns when it came to jobs; changing who watched the door and who robbed the place at a coin’s toss. They really were the best days of their lives. That was, of course, until Dallas shot a cop. 

Up until then, the hunt for them had been tame. The accidental killing of some rich kid and a few robberies was enough to keep the police on their trail but wasn’t enough to keep that following active. No, that didn’t happen until the death of the pig. That was the beginning of the end. 

The job had been going easy enough. They were robbing a convenience store with Johnny focusing on the cash whilst Dallas made sure everyone inside complied. What they hadn’t been expecting was for one of the customers to be an off-duty cop. They also hadn’t planned on him being armed. “Kid, put down the gun and back away slowly. This doesn’t have to be any harder than it is.” The unfamiliar voice was enough for Johnny to glance away from the cashier and stare directly down the barrel of the gun that was now pointed at his head. Oh fuck. “No one has to get hurt if you and your friend just give yourselves in. This doesn’t have to be any harder than it already is. Okay? Just put down the gu-” 

His words were cut off by the sound of a single bullet as the man went down like a sack of potatoes. Johnny froze, unable to move and just...stared at the body in front of him. He hadn’t thought he would see a dead body again. Not after the soc - he had later learned his name had been Bob. But this...This somehow felt so much worse. It somehow felt so much more real. He only moved when Dally grabbed his arm and practically dragged him out of the store. “C’mon, Johnnycakes. We...We gotta go.” Johnny didn’t protest. He didn’t do anything. 

Getting in the car and driving off felt like a blur after that. Everything felt numb. It wasn’t until Dallas pulled over later that night that all his emotions began to overwhelm him. “Hey. There’s a payphone right here. Why...Why don’t you call home? I don’t know if we’ll get the chance again.” Dallas pressed a few quarters into his hand. “The time don’t matter. Darry’ll always pick up.” 

With slight hesitance, Johnny made his way to the payphone. Putting the quarters in, he dialled the oh-so-familiar number of the Curtis household. In all their time on the run, they hadn’t called. How could they? They never had the time. Now that they had the time, Johnny really wished they did. He waited for the small ‘click’ that signified the phone being picked up. “H-Hello?” He couldn’t stop his voice from cracking. 

“Johnny?! That you?!” Johnny didn’t think he had ever been so relieved to hear Darry’s voice in his life. “What the hell have you and Dally gotten yourself into? You know how many times we’ve had reporters and the police over here grilling us for information about you two? Then you have the audacity to never even call us! What the hell is go-” 

Johnny cut him off. “D-Darry, we killed a cop.” 

“What?” Pure disbelief filled the oldest Curtis’s voice. “What do you mean you killed a cop?” 

“H-He had a gun pointed at me and Dally panicked but he’s...he’s dead. Just like Bob.” His voice quivered. “It’s another person dead because of me.” 

“Just...Just breathe, okay? You’re going to be okay. You’re smart and so’s Dally. You’ll be fine. Right now, you’re safe, right? You’re both safe?” Uncertainty seemed to fill Darry’s voice

“Y-Yeah, we’re safe. No one knows where we are right now.” 

“You’re going to be okay, kid. Everything will be just fine.” 

Deep down, Johnny knew the phone call to Darry had been the last time he’d contact home; the last time he would manage to talk to someone familiar. The headline in the papers the next day only confirmed it; ‘Devil Incarnate; Nationwide hunt for cop killers Dallas Winston and Johnny Cade’. The whole country would be looking for them. They’d gone from just simple robberies to murder in broad daylight. Any public favour they might have had was gone for good. 

Only one good thing came from the murder of the pig, it made doing jobs a hell of a lot easier. People were scared of them now. No one dared move a muscle when Dallas and Johnny were in the room. But the easiness started to take away from the adrenaline rush. Now, Johnny was just full of dread. They were running out of time. Now, there was only so long they could go before they were caught for real. Sure, Dally managed to lose the cops whenever they tried to follow them but it wouldn’t last forever. 

The end came far too soon for Johnny’s liking. Though, didn’t death come too soon for everyone? But he didn’t feel scared. Not when he was with Dallas. They were driving down a backroad when they both realised it was over. 

Johnny would be blind to miss blockade blocking off the road ahead. It seemed the pigs really had finally caught up to him. From the countless guns pointed at the car, he had a pretty clear idea of how it was going to end. “You gonna stop the car, Dal?”

A sad smile made its way onto Dally’s face as the car slowly crept forward. “I’m not, Johnnycakes. I think this might be the end of the line.” He sighed. 

“ _ Dying ain’t so bad _ .” He found himself whispering. 

“ _ Not if we both go together. _ ” Dallas seemed to hesitate for a few moments; the most uncertain Johnny had seen him throughout any of this. “...Kiss me?” He whispered. 

“I...What?” 

“Kiss me.” He repeated with far more confidence. Johnny didn’t hesitate before pressing their lips together gently. It was a pity this was how they figured things out between them. 

As Dallas pressed down on the acceleration, Johnny didn’t even feel the bullets hit his skin. He was gone too quickly for the pain to even register. Just like Bonnie and Clyde, two lovers died together after feeling more alive than they ever had before. 

**Author's Note:**

> A fic for a friend!! I hope you enjoy! I'm not sure how I feel about how this turned out! Comments are always appreciated or hmu @ desert-lily on tumblr


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